Are you (expletive) kidding me?! My reaction to a message regarding another Illinois State Trooper being injured or killed while doing their job. I cannot put into words, the sick, dark, horrible feeling that comes over my body when I receive such news. It’s like getting punched in the gut over and over and over again. I lose motivation. I lose hope. I lose faith. I lose the positive feelings I that go to counseling and practice self care in order to maintain.
It is impossible to avoid. I already feel like I have my head in the sand. I don’t watch any news outlets and avoid things people share or stories on social media regarding tragic situations. I used to have a barrier of ignorance to all of this. Now I know that barrier was ignorance. Man, I wish I was ignorant to the sad, horrible things of the world again. I wasn’t stupid….I know stuff happened…just not to me or my family, though.
What is the secret to getting through times like these? I’d love to know the magic answer. All I know is what helps me. I bury myself in the only thing I know how to do to help these families. I make memory boxes for their precious items. No, this isn’t a plug for our business, it’s the truth. It is my go to place to exert that negative energy into something positive. What a different world we would live in if everyone who has a negative experience, resists the urge to react negatively and does something to make this world full of sadness and grief a little less awful.
In memory of Trooper Brooke Jones-Story, Illinois State Police, End of Watch March 28, 2019 and Trooper James Sauter, End of Watch March 28, 2013.