Interview with Rene Knott

Yesterday I was given the opportunity to share a little bit about Kyle and our journey.  I was contacted through the Illinois State Police to see if I would be interested in helping to raise awareness of Scott’s Law (the moveover law).  I cannot turn down anything that may help save the life of another person or first responder.  Being in the spotlight isn’t my favorite thing in the world, but if I can make something positive out of our negative experiences, then I feel a responsibility to do so.

 

Rene Knott from KSDK Channel 5 and his very kind camera man came over to our house.  I prepared for the meeting by getting out photos and a few of Kyle’s personal items I keep in my “Kyle” box.  There was a little bit of a mini-meltdown before anyone arrived.  I couldn’t find our wedding album.  I knew exactly where it was at our other house, but we have so much that hasn’t been gone through still.  I frantically searched for it in the boxes in the basement.  I felt like I let Kyle down.  Like I didn’t care about him or our beautiful wedding because I couldn’t find the album.  Those were my initial thoughts.  After pulling it together, shortly before the everyone arrived, I talked myself down.  I knew that Kyle didn’t even care about what pictures were picked for our wedding album.  I knew that the item itself is just “stuff”.  The memories and feelings I have from that day will always be just a thought away.

 

The interviewer was genuine and I really enjoyed talking with him before and after the interview. He kept saying that he didn’t want to bring anything up or say anything to upset me.  I reminded him that all of those feelings, thoughts, words, questions have already been on my mind at some point.  I appreciated his sensitivity.

 

During the interview, we discussed Kyle, our relationship, the day I found out I lost him, and the difficult balance of past and present.  He asked one question that I felt really passionately about answering. He asked if there should be more laws in place to prevent tragedies like the one we have lived through.   My response was that I really don’t feel like more laws are the answer.  In my opinion, only the “good guys” follow them anyway. The focus needs to be on education and personal responsibility.  I don’t have all the answers, but I strongly feel that is where focus needs to remain.

 

The interview should be airing next Tuesday, May 7th.  I hope someone somewhere finds my openness useful, comforting or even motivating to not give up on life after loss.  Most importantly, #moveover!

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