Yesterday I was given the opportunity to share a little bit about Kyle and our journey. I was contacted through the Illinois State Police to see if I would be interested in helping to raise awareness of Scott’s Law (the moveover law). I cannot turn down anything that may help save the life of another person or first responder. Being in the spotlight isn’t my favorite thing in the world, but if I can make something positive out of our negative experiences, then I feel a responsibility to do so.
Rene Knott from KSDK Channel 5 and his very kind camera man came over to our house. I prepared for the meeting by getting out photos and a few of Kyle’s personal items I keep in my “Kyle” box. There was a little bit of a mini-meltdown before anyone arrived. I couldn’t find our wedding album. I knew exactly where it was at our other house, but we have so much that hasn’t been gone through still. I frantically searched for it in the boxes in the basement. I felt like I let Kyle down. Like I didn’t care about him or our beautiful wedding because I couldn’t find the album. Those were my initial thoughts. After pulling it together, shortly before the everyone arrived, I talked myself down. I knew that Kyle didn’t even care about what pictures were picked for our wedding album. I knew that the item itself is just “stuff”. The memories and feelings I have from that day will always be just a thought away.
The interviewer was genuine and I really enjoyed talking with him before and after the interview. He kept saying that he didn’t want to bring anything up or say anything to upset me. I reminded him that all of those feelings, thoughts, words, questions have already been on my mind at some point. I appreciated his sensitivity.
During the interview, we discussed Kyle, our relationship, the day I found out I lost him, and the difficult balance of past and present. He asked one question that I felt really passionately about answering. He asked if there should be more laws in place to prevent tragedies like the one we have lived through. My response was that I really don’t feel like more laws are the answer. In my opinion, only the “good guys” follow them anyway. The focus needs to be on education and personal responsibility. I don’t have all the answers, but I strongly feel that is where focus needs to remain.
The interview should be airing next Tuesday, May 7th. I hope someone somewhere finds my openness useful, comforting or even motivating to not give up on life after loss. Most importantly, #moveover!